Childhood

A child needs others to validate them in order to survive. The first few years of a person’s life teach them about their worth. By the time a person reaches their first birthday, they will have decided whether they can trust in the worth of having their needs met. If an infant learns that their cry is worthy of attention, they will learn to trust that they are important to the outside world. Conversely, an infant who remains unheard when they cry learns not to trust their feelings and experiences unmet needs. This infant will decide that it is not safe to express their hunger, fear, and discomfort, leading to the rise of negative, destructive emotions such as shame, guilt, worthlessness, anger, dependency, and depression.

Forgiving the adults who taught you to feel ‘nothing’ is not easy. However, acknowledging that you have been programmed to believe you are unworthy can help you break out of this mindset.

1. As a child, you were powerless to what was happening around you. Any negative beliefs about yourself are not your fault.
2. You had the right to be loved, nurtured, and accepted by your family members as a child.
3. As a child, you sought safety, love, acceptance, and validation, not understanding that some parents are incapable of providing these needs.
4. You did not comprehend that being invalidated would affect your happiness for the rest of your life.
5. It was not your fault that their inability to give love was a symptom of their dysfunction, not a reflection of your worth.
6. Seeking your parents’ validation was natural; it is not your fault that criticism, punishment, or abandonment made you feel unlovable.
7. It is normal for a child to want to be ‘seen’ by those who should love them.
8. As a child, being abused, you may have thought you had to accept it.
9. You didn’t know as a child that it wasn’t your responsibility to care for your parents or siblings.
10. Experiencing fear, physical pain, and neglect as a child was not your fault.
11. Growing up in a household with alcoholics, drug addicts, pedophiles, or violent adults was not a reflection of your worth.
12. It is not your fault they made you feel unimportant and unworthy.
13. As a child, you could forgive unconditionally, but were often told you were ‘nothing.’
14. You were taught to suppress your feelings, not understanding that emotions are normal and healthy.
15. You didn’t understand the dysfunction in your family and internalized it as something being wrong with you.
16. You didn’t realize that your parents’ actions were a result of their own upbringing.
17. You were taught to earn love, leading to a fear of love, but in reality, you are deserving of love.
18. Being discouraged from crying when hurt disconnected your mind, body, and spirit.
19. Your early treatment shaped your view of the world, leading to distrust.
20. As a child, you believed the labels your parents placed on you.
21. The guilt, shame, and abuse you faced created a sense of inferiority.
22. You were led to believe you were unworthy of love.
23. You didn’t understand that fear of emotional intimacy stems from your parents’ inability to love.
24. Disconnecting from your emotions in childhood affects your ability to connect with them in adulthood.
25. Being ignored as a child can lead to fear of trusting others and impact social interactions.
26. Being raised by an alcoholic parent affected your self-esteem.
27. Your natural desire for connection with your parents was thwarted by their emotional unavailability.

Understanding the pain and powerlessness of your inner child allows you to begin anew as a mature, powerful individual whose essence is love. Heaven within you signifies the power to fulfill your needs without seeking external validation. Your childhood memories occupy a significant part of your subconscious in adulthood. Changing how you view these experiences and addressing emotional wounds can lead to spiritual maturity and emotional growth.